i just got back home from my trip to the grandhuman’s cabin in maine. i’m not going to lie, being back home is pretty lame. there aren’t as many squirrels to chase, a lot less trees to tinkle on, and my grandhumans aren’t here to give me belly rubs. #humph
i’ve always said that i would like a 6 month vacation, twice a year. i’d spend all of it getting spoiled by the grandhumans. but even though i’m the boss around here, i don’t make ALL the decisions. so when she says, “we gotta go home, mommy needs to go back to work so she can bring home the bacon! and you looooveee bacon, don’t you? yes you do, you little snuggle wuggle muffin wuffin!” i just kind of roll my eyes and go along with it. #sigh
whenever i’m down in dumps after coming home from vacation, our favorite thing to do is look at all the goofy photos we took during our trip. and this year, there was nooooo shortage of goofy, doofy pictures of moi.
wanna see some my maine bloopers? okay, as long as you promise not to laugh. JK, you can totally laugh, because it’s kind of impossible not to. 😉
this is my “a bug just flew into my mouth at the same time we went over a big wave and you tried to take a picture, so it came out like this” face.
big waves + bug in the mouth = one really awful photo.
okay, take the picture in 1…2…ahhh, ahhhh, chooo!..3. crud.
why do i always get the sneezels whenever i’m about to take a photo?
excuse me, WHAT did you just say? you think these antlers make me look like i have a really, really big head? oh no you didn’t!
alright, i’m going to be honest. now that i’m looking at this picture, my head does look kind of massive. #BobbleHeadRams 😛
this is my, “i will sit here as long as it takes for you to snap a picture, but since i’m feeling a little bit grouchy and it’s been like 1 hour since i ate my last snack, i’m not gonna smile. nope. not. gonna. do. it.” face.
as the saying goes: you can lead a puppy to a hammock, but you can’t make him smile or act look like he’s having a good time. unless you have a piece of bacon to bribe him with. yeah, something like that.
this is basically my reaction every time she goes overboard with the baby talk.
i don’t know if she realizes it, but calling me a “stinky poo bear” in a high-pitched voice is embarrassing for her, not me.
oh, the things i put up with…
trying to look casual while pretending to drive a boat. #IHaveNoIdeaWhatImDoing
…and could someone help push my sunglasses back up my nose, please?
all of a sudden, right in the middle of my moose antlers photo shoot, i decided to give her my best “blue steel” face.
turns out my blue steel face looks more like “check out my wittle teefs!”
i think i had one too many baconritas before this picture was taken. that, or my right eye just decided to take a nap for a minute.
you know you’re in dangerous territory when you’ve had a few too many baconritas and decide to let someone take a picture of you because you’re feelin’ “totes adorbs.” and even if you think the picture is “sooooo cutteeee! let’s post it right now!” it’s probably not.
the only way to keep people from stealing your pancakes is to stare at them without blinking, until you finish gobbling up every last bit.
another good way to keep someone from stealing your pancakes is to lick them and get a bunch of stinky slobber all over. just saying.
that exact moment when you remember you left the oven on…#OhMotherPupper
JK. i’m a dog. i don’t know how to use the oven.
just standin’ here, waitin’ for you to tell me what we’re doin’, thinkin’ about snacks and squirrels and the neighbor’s cat and which chair i should take my afternoon nap on later today.
come on lady, i don’t have all day. i’ve got snacks to sneak and naps to take! chop chop!
sooo what you’re saying is…i have to take a picture holding a stick with marshmallows on it, but i’m not allowed to eat them afterwards?
what. the. pup. these are the most unfair working conditions. you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.
and last but definitely not least…
for every adorable puppy-in-a-hat-and-a-sweater photo, there are a million more puppy-in-a-hat-and-a-sweater-looking-like-a-doofus-total-fail-pictures.
i couldn’t even tell ya’ what’s going on in this picture. other than i’m probably thinking, “she better give me a really darn big treat after this!”
for every one of my paw-fectly polished pictures, there are a hundred more goofy ones: blurry pictures that she snapped before the camera was fully in focus, shots of me with my eyes half closed and looking really doofy, and snaps that catch the exact moment when my nose tickles and i have to sneeze.
i’ve gotten pretty good at this whole “sit and look adorable for the camera!” thing, but as any supermodel will tell you, you have to be patient and take a lot of “bleh” pictures to get a really great one! or, at least, one where you don’t look like you have an abnormally large head, droopy eyelids, or sharp wittle teefs 😛
which one of my maine bloopers did you like the most? let me know in the comments!